Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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