My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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