What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
