I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
