just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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