Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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