Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
