After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.