Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT