Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore