i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i think i have herpe
just one?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Rumble strips road head = magical
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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