I skipped work to stalk him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
