Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
