If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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