we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
