4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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