So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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