OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
