so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
