Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
