just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
