nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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