i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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