If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
