I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize