ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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