Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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