is your mom at the bar?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize