Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
