I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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