is your mom at the bar?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
