I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize