You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
