Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
