wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize