Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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