Im at strip club and am horny
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize