i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
