sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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