nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we're making bets on your personal life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
