somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
