Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
