This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
