was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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