I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
