Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
