i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
