He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
