It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
