ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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