There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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