I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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