Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
