Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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