In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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