but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
