my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
