I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
